Option A.) “Surprise!”

My brain stopped working for a total of five second for a system update and when it got up and running again I did the only thing I could think of to do at the time.

“Surprise!” I yelled spreading my hands apart above my head and, by default, did jazz hands. I’d like to add a bit smugly that one of my hands was shaking right in Eduardo’s face. Mature, I know, but any kind of payback is appreciated.

“Alexandria Marie, what in the hell is going on in here?” My mom seemed less than thrilled at my attempt to be humourous. Her eyebrows were pulling together and her face was slowly growing a shade of pink, which would lead to red and tight lips if I didn’t tread carefully.

“Would you like the crazy lie, or the insane truth?” I asked suddenly looking over at my bookshelf, very interested in how I fit so many books in one place. I didn’t know if my mom would believe me, but she was a bit more reasonable than a lot of other people.

“I’ll let you try the lie first,” she said, crossing her arms.

Thankfully, the guys seemed to realize that this was an incredibly important moment to their furture, and remained quiet throught this exchange. I honestly can’t even beging to explain how downhill this would go if they tried talking for themselves. The situation at hand is already going to be extremely difficult for me to defuse.

“These are all my friends from collega, and they decided to drop by last night, and instead of waking you all up by using the front door, they came in my window, and I just let them spend the night in my room.” I quickly fumbled, trying to make more sense of my lie as I talked. It wasn’t working, it just seemed more fake the more I talked.

“Nice try, but I raised you, and I know you’re not that dumb,” Mom inturrupted me from sounding more ridiculous, “Now let’s hear this crazier truth,” She said still looking at me firmly.

My lie wasn’t a total waste of time though, because my mom was visibly more relaxed. If there was one thing I’ve learned through my years on this Earth, it would have to be that 95% of the time, when you use honest humor first, my mother is more likely to calm down and listen carefully to what you say seriously.

“Okay. Get ready for the crazy,” I took a deep breath while handing her my iPod, “So you know those game I play? The ones you get angry with me for spending all my money on them?” I paused and clicked on the correct app, showing her a picture that inculded all of the men in the my room, “Well, I honestly don’t know how, but all of the guys came out of the game and ended up in my bedroom last night.”

There was an eeriy silence as my mom’s eyes went back and forth from the screen and all of the people gathered in my room. I held my breath, silently praying to God that this wasn’t going to be the one time my mom decides I’m lying.

Glancing over at the crew, I noticed that they all were holding their breaths too. Even Eduardo, and because of the tense situation, I had to reign in the urge to start laughing. By looks of things, in only the few minutes that they’ve known her, my mom already had them terrified.

It was slightly comforting and scary at the same time.

Suddenly, my mom started talking again, “Okay, let’s say I believe you, what would we do next? They’re full grown men. We don’t have enough room in this house for them to stay here forever. And are they supposed to go back?”

I let out a small bit of air. She believes me, so at least she’ll be backing me up. I wouldn’t be getting in trouble just yet, but that didn’t shake the growing feeling in the pit of my stomach.

(Pick an option)

A.) Address the housing problem first.

B.) Address the ‘going back’ problem first.

C.) Point out the job/money/food problem first.

Everyday I wake up and go, “Yes! Today is the day I be brave enough and start role playing with someone!”

I click on Tumblr.

Stare at the screen of the person I want to role play with.

Then I become too embarrassed/shy and put my laptop down and pull my bed covers over my head.

Today I woke up. The sun was shining, people were rushing around, the wind was blowing quietly though the trees, birds were chirping. And all I thought was, ‘Nope.’

Me when I’m sleeping with a friend: oh I see that we’re sharing a bed and that you’ve sat up. Let me just take this moment to steal half the blanket and your pillow, and then become impossible to move so you can’t have them back.